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Monday, June 6, 2011

text message pen pals

a stranger accidentally text messaged me the other day. this is how it played out. this is 100% from real life.

309: Omg, kate really does get on tom about everything! Its weird...like how she tells him what to do and then tzts kam and tells her what he's doing.
me: omg yr so right tell me more. Tom...tom...tom
309: So, I didn't mean to txt u and i have no idea who u r. Sorry. Awfully odd response tho.
me: Wanna be frenz?
309: Not especially. Who r u?
me: This is your subconscious speaking. LOL.
309: lol. Nice.
me: Think about it, we could be penpals. This could be the next big thing, random text yo area code.
309: haha. R u a boy?
me: Do i sound like a boy?
309: U sound like a creepzilla!
me: I am not a creepzilla i am a human being i deserve my rights u sound like a tween dude.
309: mwahahaha! I'm a lady. 25. U sound like an art fag.
me: I am a 24 yo woman and i am totally an art fag.
309: I knew it! Still wanna be penpals?
me: Um like duh. Who else is gonna listen to you bitch about Tom.
309: tom's my husband's son.
me: How old is he?
309: 10. I was bitching cuz his sister gets on him for all the weird shit he does and its stifling the kid.
me: Maybe the shit he does is really effing weird tho, amirite?
309: He licked the cat's tail. Sure, he's fuckin weird but its a good thing. sure the cats get tired of cleaning themselves all the time.
me: Who hasn't wanted to do that. Although recall the tail's proximity to the asshole, which is at least a psychological concern.
309: Indeed. But hey, its fun as long as its just the tip. Joking...or am i. U know peter, by chance?
me: If course I know peter! ...grl u serious? wtf.
309: this is rachel.
me: Yeah we totally went to high school together!
309: lyzz? U gonna keep me guessing?
me: Don't you have any sense of mystery? 309 covers a huge amount of central illi.
309: you're right...where IS my sense of mystery?
me: You sold your soul to the devil.
309: Hah! U sed it, man!
me: Godspeed.
309: nice talking w ya, lil lady! Take her easy!
me: Likewise. Peace.

2 footnotes:

Anthony Fatta said...


Roo Gatsby said...