accents accident accurate addiction airports allusion alphabetizing anti-depressants art autechre Avis BEATS Benjamin binaries biological birds blood bodies boundaries bowflex bowie brainfeeder Brazil breaking addiction bricolage bye Canadians cats celebrity look-alike christianity. metaphysics cigarettes classical music clement greenberg cliche coincidence coldplay collage collective color creeps curating cycles dada daft punk daughters death depression Derrida descartes detroit dictionary discuss feelings disguise drama dreams eating el mundo elephants envelopes erotic ethics everything. explanation fashion fathers fear filters flesh flowers flying lotus food Francis Bacon freak friends fuck games Gertrude Stein ghosts girl cops girl talk goat God graduate school grammar guilt haiku Hegel history homage horror humor hymn hypocrisy ice icons indie rock indie rock is dead internet irony it jay-z jealousy John Manning kitsch kraftwerk language lcd soundsystem letters like lists literally writing love mac man ray Manchester meaning memory men metal milk monks moral schizophrenia names nashville nietzsche noise non-poems nonsense numbers objects of montreal painting Panamanians panties paradox patience personality disorder philosophy piano pills platonic forms poetry lessons prefix professional psychological trauma symptomatic of a broken space-time continuum punk puppy puzzles quotation recognition regret reincarnation remix repetition review riffz RJD2 Russians sacrifice sad sampling sex sisters sketch skull smoking solitude sounds space spelling splitting steel guitar stoicism stoned suicide syllables tag technology THE 80s the creative process the distressed The Field theology thesis time trembling twin ugly update voice voyeurism wolves women worms year of the rabbit

Sunday, July 18, 2010

gentleLena pt.II: the autobiography

gentleLena pt. I

* * *

Have I ever loved one? Lena thought once. She counted her lovers on  fingers and toes (a few times over.)

Her first lover she most certainly had loved. He was from down the street, not across the ocean.

Yes, I must have loved him I thought. Lena thought this too. I prefer dark hair and he had dark hair. This must be because of his inital influence on my sexual appetite. Such a realization inspired Lena to graph a multi-variable analysis of her lovers.

I must include all of the most important characteristics, I thought. Lena thought this also. She could deduce her true love from statistical pattern. This all made perfect sense to Lena and to me as well.

Lena wrote all of the most important and favorite features of her lovers. Here is her list.

1. agreeable fetishes

(some of Lena's fetishes narcissism and voyerism. She could only feel pleasure by witnessing pleasure. This is why she would do anything to catch a man touching himself.)

2. ability to make her cum

(Lena only came for a partner when it was deserved. Many men do not deserve to see a woman in such an ecstatic state; many women are fools for revealing themselves too soon. By principle Lena had never fabricated an orgasm.)

3. the width of their cock 

(Lena had realized long ago that length mattered little in comparison with this vital feature of the male sex organ. Coincidentally, she learned from a Chilean lover that a woman could, with startling accuracy, estimate the abilities of this organ by the shape of its owners' nose.)

4. a favorite flower

(Her mother had been a florist. A man with an eye for beautiful things could never be faithful but always be trusted.)

5. time spent thinking about them after, during, and before.

(This was difficult, but because Lena lived in her mind as well as her body she had to think about it. Some lovers, she hardly recalled how they felt but she enjoyed to fantasize about them, imposing her own version of the reality that occurred. Others were fantastic but at once forgettable. Lena was looking for a holistic mind-dweller.)

Documentation took much longer than Lena anticipated. She delayed the final result by composing many silly schoolgirl side-competitions, such as softest-to-hardest and fattest-to-thinnest. Finally she tallied the results.

By god, this cannot be, Lena thought. I am in love with Umberto Eco.

1 footnotes:

Anonymous said...

Really loving the prose-y stuff. It's a beautiful box for your ideas.

Keep 'em comin', Knapp, and don't be a stranger.