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Saturday, July 31, 2010

Lena 3: in which Lena Sucks the Life out of Herself

Lena had made no conscious decision to quit her dozens of lovers, but inevitably it happened. She had been enjoying the company of two men (one Irish, one Scottish, she could hardly tell them apart) when a man from the deep deep south was unexpectedly introduced to her. She found him interesting only because everyone else seemed to find him interesting.

Lena was used to leaving men and in fact a man had never left her before. Thus she expected the same to happen, for her to see this man from the deep deep south for several days or weeks and then leave him. But everytime Lena thought she would leave him he left her.

"I know we will say goodbye to each other many more times," she said at the first time she said goodbye to him. She was right and she still is right.

Lena forgot about other men because she wondered about this one. Instead of growing duller he grew more fascinating. He smelled better to her each day. He had a favorite flower. They agreed on fetishes. He had the perfect width of cock.

But as I said before he was always leaving her. He went back to the deep deep south and also went to the arms of other women. Some women were real and some women Lena imagined were real. Lena imagined many women and somehow this made the man even more attractive to her.

Lena lost weight and cut off her hair. She felt her skin go rough so she cut into it with razors. She felt her eyes dry and tough and wanted to cut them with razors too. The less Lena cared about other men the more they flocked to her. The less Lena cared about her body the more men flocked to her.

A flock of silly birds shitting and squawking all around her.

The more she loved him the more she hated herself. "I hate myself because I am no longer myself," she thought.

Her thoughts went faster and less complete. Faster and less complete. Fast and less. She became less and less. She didn't even want to read this story anymore.

Lena was at her least when she met a woman whose named sounded like Advice.

1 footnotes:

Anonymous said...

It's 5:11am.

I would call you but it is 5:11am.

I will call you at lunchtime, today.