end end

Hi,

I don't know if anyone still checks this - I'm looking at you, several crazy stalkers. Oh, we've had some good times.

Rather than delete coalesque, I have decided to let it settle into the infinite internet, where in 10 years I will look at it with the same jaded sentimentality I feel when look at my decades-old journals.

Often people - strangers, friends - would ask what my blog was doing. >>

Coalesque was a catalogue of my emotional experience in graduate school. This was a traumatic period of life for me. Studying theology as an agnostic was more difficult than I anticipated. Furthermore, throughout this graduate experience I was unable (physically, mentally) to express the very deep love I had for someone. The psychological ramifications of these trials are still in the process of being resolved.

Writing remains the lonely passion of my life. Most of it I am doing in my head now, and reading more.

I recently finished Murakami's "The Wind-Up Bird Chronicle," and woke up yesterday with a blue mark on my face, just like the main character. I received a message on my phone that I could only access for one second before it disappeared. People are exiting my life in superficial ways and entering them through my dreams. The more books I read, the more things make sense on the inside, even if the external world is beginning to confuse me. But inside - inside ends are showing me their means, and the connective tissues between spirits and atoms are glowing like haunted cartoon DNA.

I will always be a judgmental person because I have made it a point to master the (perhaps arbitrary) qualifying systems of ethics and aesthetics. On that low point, here's the closing remark:



the secrets you keep to yourself, are the most sacred parts of you.

transparency is just that - a spectre.



a summation of the last two anda half years>>>>>>>>

bye>>>>>>>>

kk